Mermaids Don’t Exist, NOAA Confirms

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) has officially announced that there is no evidence that mermaids do exist.

NOAA has issued a definitive statement on mermaids, which claims that no existence of half-human, half-fish sea creatures is proved. Photo: Klaus Lange/Flickr

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration which specializes on such environmental matters like hurricanes, tsunamis and earthquakes , released a statement on their website denying that mermaids exist:

“The belief in mermaids may have arisen at the very dawn of our species. Magical female figures first appear in cave paintings in the late Paleolithic (Stone Age) period some 30,000 years ago, when modern humans gained dominion over the land and, presumably, began to sail the seas.”

“Half-human creatures, called chimeras, also abound in mythology — in addition to mermaids, there were wise centaurs, wild satyrs, and frightful minotaurs, to name but a few. But are mermaids real? No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found,” reads the statement.

You may wonder why NOOA has raised the question about the existence of mermaids. Actually, the statement was released in response to a documentary-style film recently shown on Animal Planet.

After the “Mermaids: The Body Found” were broadcasted, at least two viewers wrote to NOAA asking for additional information about the possible existence of the mythical sea creatures, according to the Telegraph.

“We don’t have a mermaid service programme,” a spokeswoman for the National Ocean Service, a scientific agency of the Commerce Department, told reporters, prompting sighs of relief from American tax payers.

“It was a documentary-style show that “paints a wildly convincing picture of the existence of mermaids, what they may look like, and why they’ve stayed hidden…until now,” explains show’s press Web page. “’Mermaids: The Body Found’ makes a strong case for the existence of the mermaid…”

Still, many viewers considered the filmmakers’ acknowledgment that the film is science fiction to be “wildly convincing.”

The show is a multiple mix of computer animation, historical facts, conspiracy theory and real and faked footage sprinkled with enough bits of scientific speculation and real science to make it seem plausible. “Mermaids: The Body Found” includes some interviews with NOAA scientists.

“As with all good science fiction, there’s a grain of science and truth to it: the so-called “aquatic ape” idea it touted (suggesting our evolutionary ancestors may have lived in marine environments) is a real hypothesis, but has nothing to do with mermaids,” says Discovery.

New York Times reviewer Neil Genzlinger described the show as “a fictional account built on a few strands of fact and made to look like an actual documentary.”

He added: “If you know those ground rules, it’s a rather enjoyable and intriguing piece of work, in the same vein as ‘The Blair Witch Project’.”

Well, it looks like many people simply were not awared of those ground rules, and thus they were fooled into thinking that there was more fact than fancy in the show.

By the way, a similar statement has already been released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Last month the organization declared that there are no such things as zombies, despite the sudden surge in real-world face-eating attacks.

The CDC has jokingly published several “zombie apocalypse” warnings, urging people to stock up on food and water in case of a freak zombine attack, reports The New York Daily News.

However, the agency has to release ‘zombie’ statement after Rudy Eugene chewed off the face of a homeless man on the side of a busy causeway in Miami.

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