A year and a half on, Rihanna has spoken out about the horrific assault she suffered at the hands of her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown in the interview with UK Marie Claire magazine.
Striking a fierce pose with her hand on her hip and her smouldering gaze on the camera, she is a completely different person from the heartbroken young woman whose battered face appeared in police photos in February last year.
But the memories of that night still linger in the 22-year-old’s mind, and she has finally opened up about how she felt after the traumatic event in December issue of UK Marie Claire magazine.
“God has a crazy way of working, and sometimes when stuff happens you feel like, “What did I do to deserve this?” Why was it backfiring on me?” she told the magazine.
She continued: “I was very lost. I have to say I felt really confused. I hate talking about it but it was really crazy because I felt so out of touch with myself and when that happens.”
Reduced to tears, the singer said: “It’s scary because nothing you say or do feels like it’s you. You just lose touch of everything that you love and everything that you would normally do.”
“How you would dress or how you would say something. It just feels like it’s not coming from you. It’s just this one empty vase. I felt like an empty vessel,” she added.
She has also revealed when she realised she needed to end the three-year relationship for good: “One day. I remember I was in New York at the Trump Hotel and I woke up and I just knew I was over it.”
I needed that wake-up call in my life. I needed a turning point, and that’s what God was giving to me,” she added. Rihanna attracted plenty of criticism for her brief reconciliation with Chris Brown – currently completing his court-ordered community service – after the headline-making assault.
“All this terrible stuff they say to you, it breaks you down,” she says of that time. “[But] once you’re back on your feet – if you ever make it back on your feet – that’s the ultimate achievement.”
Now dating US baseball star Matt Kemp, Rihanna says she has now moved on and is happy again.
“I feel like I smile for real this time. The smiles come from inside, and it exudes in everything I do,” she said.
She continued: “People feel my energy is different. When I smile they can tell that it’s pure bliss and not just a cover up.”
The gorgeous photoshoot, in which Rihanna wears a dramatic Sonia Rykiel dress and Manolo Blahnik heels, appears in December issue of UK Marie Claire magazine.
The singer’s hair and make-up guru Karin Darnell says of her client’s trend-setting locks: “She’s been dying to go red for ages! ‘That’s why she’s such a style icon, because she’s constantly changing – a true chameleon.” [Marie Clarie via Daily Mail (UK)]